Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Welcome To The Wild, Wild, West.

Due to commitments, and that thing called “Life,” I was off the bike for pretty much the whole month of August.  Too busy to get on-board, I did throw quite a few looks of affection her way as I was coming in, and going out, the door.  Well, I finally decided I was MAKING time to go out for a ride and reacquaint myself with my bike, my legs, and some of the local roads.  And in regards to the latter, well, let me tell you, after today’s training ride, it seems I did not miss a thing.

It is time us to face the facts: We now live in a lawless society, with people pretty much making up the rules as they go, and, of course, the rules apply to themselves, only.  Motorists, cyclists, and even pedestrians, plus everyone in between, peeps are pretty much wholly dismissive of one another today.  The real problems arise when we get a whole society of these creatures together, and one can just watch the machine of humanity slowly grinding to a halt.

While my training ride was pretty much “Business as Usual” as far as purposely rude humans goes, there were some real standouts which warrant special mentions from the ride.  They were kinda’ like Kenny Blankenship’s Most Painful Eliminations of The Day, without the brutal impacts, water traps, or being caught on actual video.

The first shout-out goes to Casa Colina Rehabilitation Center, in Pomona, California.  From an organization in business of healing bodies, their employee’s and guests seem determined to put many-a-cyclist in there as patients due to how they ingress and egress from the property.  It is one place to really watch yourself, lest one becomes a guest, Pronto!

Next up, “Johnny Skinhead.”  From the bad haircut, to the dirty, ripped clothing , to the complete beater-car, this guy already had stereotype written all over him, and that was before he blew the light a full four-seconds after it turned red for him.

My next victim of ridicule, “Jose Oldsmobile.”  This creep not only blew through a stop sign, but he almost plowed into me, two cars at the intersection, plus a man simply just opening the door to his own truck.  “Jose” was traveling so fast, and had such a dangerous disregard for others, that both the truck driver and I tried to track him down and get his license plate to report him.  Alas, “Senior Oldsmobile” was gone in less than 60-seconds.

Then, there was “Toni Hawkeye.”  This knucklehead felt it was his job to be hauling ass in the bike lane – Opposite traffic, while astride a skateboard.  And, this moron was not going to move for anyone, including little ‘ol me and my bicycle.

And finally, I present “Chrissie Curbhugger.”  She felt it was her job, after picking up her cretin kid from school, to drive in the bike lane for about 150-yards before making a right turn, rather than merge into traffic with everyone else, as she was legally required to do.  While she was waiting at the red light (I know, shocked me, too) I politely told he that it is illegal to drive in the bike lane for reasons of convenience.  Yes, she actually had the nerve to get angry regarding the situation: At me.

“Ah, the Flowers of Humanity, I used to think.”  Now, all I think I have been experiencing have been the weeds.

Stay vigilant, my friends.

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